We can debate the origins of Thanksgiving, but one thing is clear: I shouldn’t cook.

Don’t make food out of it

Preparing a traditional holiday dinner isn’t easy. Thanksgiving is confusing.

Massachusetts takes charge of Thanksgiving. Pilgrims, the first festival, was in 1621. Okay, mazel tov. But Virginia is angry because the agreement was decided even 20 minutes earlier.

And St. Augustine, Florida, because they were our first guests. So who knows, maybe the Floridians came by bike to make deliveries.

The Pilgrims and Puritans ignored the second helping of sweet potatoes with burnt marshmallows on top. We weren’t even interested in Black Friday sales. They didn’t know that from the congestion prices. They came to the New World for religious reasons.

Despite other thoughts, it was Lincoln who started this holiday as an official holiday.

However, George Washington issued a proclamation to this effect here in New York in 1789. But it didn’t catch on until Lincoln officially unified the country in 1863.

Speaking of turkeys, they could also pardon Hunter Biden this way. My father could have simply stuffed it with breadcrumbs.

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Take some time for history

Historian Ryan Walters on how Native American communities view Thanksgiving said:

“There are different versions. You can go down the rabbit hole by following them all. Some people like it, some don’t. The Seminoles have it, some Lakota don’t. Some people think it’s a good idea, some people think it glorifies genocide.”

Here we are, hundreds of years later, still fighting.

“In the early 17th century, in this new land, the colonists had no idea what they were doing. Many died. They were helped by friendly Native Americans. He showed them how to plant and rotate fields. The Indians were excellent farmers. There was even a so-called “Fasting Time” in Virginia. And in the end he got into a fight. And this story continues for the next 200-plus years.”

And this was long before Pelosi, Obama, Joe and Jill and spitting Bernie Sanders. Also in the past, many elected leaders ended up either in jail or in certain mattresses.

Some of our influential politicians, even before they hired divorce lawyers or criminal defense lawyers, grew up in rough neighborhoods. Each block had its own coroner.

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Burn Notice

Look, once upon a time, cooking this old bird yourself was disgusting and greasy. Every time I closed the oven door, the pilot light went off.

The thing survived. They say this is the new mayor of UpYourFeathers Idaho. His next job is running Kamala’s next campaign for Speaker of the House. Her house.

I understand that the holiday feast will be celebrated at Hunter’s home. And he was lucky to have a personal chef.

They almost didn’t catch him. Literally at the last minute he made bail. One of Mayor Adams’ commissioners vouched for him. And New Jersey Senator Menendez helped stuff it.

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Coffee conversation

Not long ago, 13 Starbucks employees in Los Angeles shared an $87 million lottery jackpot.

I mean, ask yourself, where else but in our great beloved free democratic America, loving your neighbor and all for riots?

One week you work at Starbucks, and the next week you can afford to buy coffee there.

In the meantime, a question. Why is he always considered Tom Turkey? Why never Teresa?

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I’m taking leave. If the editors allow, see you next week.