I want to ask our manager out on a date, my coworker is bad at his job and more – Ask the manager

These are five answers to five questions. Like this…

1. How can I ask our CEO out on a date?

How can I contact someone who works in the office where I work and ask them out on a date? Her title is GM. I’m going to ask her if she would like to go for coffee or a walk on the beach one day after work, just to get to know each other better. I would also like to invite her to lunch for my birthday, which is on a Sunday in December.

I work in the warehouse downstairs. She works in an office upstairs, although office protocol and company policy prevent me from asking her these questions. I see her in the parking lot from time to time when I’m unloading trucks, but she goes straight upstairs through the main entrance of the building while I’m unloading trucks in the loading dock, which is away from the office parking lot.

I would also like to ask her if there is an option to add her to messenger and Facebook.

What should I do? I’m thinking of waiting until the next time I see her in the carport and talking to her before she goes upstairs to the office. I will never forget the smile on her face when I met her as she was introduced to each warehouse employee.

Please don’t ask this woman out. She’s here to do her job, and it sounds like you have no reason to believe that she has romantic feelings for you (or even anything more than feelings of professional acquaintance), and your office policy prohibits it. She can’t date anyone under her, and even if you’re not under her (although if she’s the CEO, you probably are), she’s there to do her job, not so that her colleagues would pester her. . It would be different if you didn’t have problems with chain of command. And she was sending active signals that she had responded to your interest.

Active signals that the person is reciprocating your interest are an absolute prerequisite for hiring someone. (Smiling at you does not meet this bar; it is normal professional warmth when introducing yourself.)

2. My colleague is bad at his job, and I count on his support.

I have been fighting with my colleague “John” for over a year now. He provides targeted support to the project I am leading, and I communicate directly with him about related tasks. I don’t manage him, but I am older than him.

Problems include:
• Poor email management. While sometimes he responds right away, more often than not he doesn’t acknowledge or respond to my emails at all. When reminded (repeatedly) of outstanding tasks, he often cannot find the information he sent or only responds partially.
• Inability to take responsibility for tasks assigned to me. This includes having to chase him down for weeks on basic requests, having to regularly forward “lost” information, and having to carefully edit sloppy work due to lack of attention to detail and failure to include all the information reported.
• Failure to provide sufficient time for review despite repeated requests. For example, I asked for three business days to review a biennial report. The distribution date is set months in advance, so it’s a matter of time management on his part. He allocated five business hours for the review, did not include any of the information I submitted three weeks ago, and the overall quality was poor.

At first I thought there might be a mismatch in communication styles, so I tried other approaches – instant messaging, phone calls and visiting his office. I’ve also suggested using other platforms like Teams, and even mildly shamed them by asking about outstanding tasks in small group meetings. After the bi-annual report, I scheduled a one-on-one meeting and had a frank and direct conversation about the issues outlined here (all of which have been addressed before). I also invited him to give his opinion. It was a professional and respectful conversation. He responded cheerfully and acknowledged the problems. Nothing significant has changed.

John and I are managed by Jane. Jane was my manager for five years and I have great respect for her. She confirmed that everything I asked John was reasonable and within his responsibilities. She admits that other team members have given her similar feedback, although she appears to be pleased with his performance in other areas of his job. She has spoken to John more than once about these issues and knows that performance has not improved.

I’ve successfully worked with different personality types and different levels of competence, but to be honest, this situation is confusing to me. I’d like to take a huge step back, but I don’t know how to do it without letting the client down and allowing late, incomplete, incorrect, and sloppy work to fail. Fighting for the smallest thing is exhausting and I get lost in this dynamic. Despite how this letter sounds, a relatively small part of my daily work has to involve John, and I spend a disproportionate amount of time and energy managing this situation.

You need to go back to Jane and ask her this question because it’s her job to figure it out. You were right to try what you tried, but at this point you have exhausted your options and Jane’s involvement will be required if the problem is resolved.

Tell her everything you’ve tried and use the words you ended your letter with: “I’m spending a disproportionate amount of time and energy managing this situation.” Then say, “I’m at my limit to solve this problem, and I’m at the point where I need your help. How do you want me to handle this?”

Also, start copying Jane on messages to John, especially anything that reminds him that you haven’t heard from him, deadlines have been missed, or key elements are missing from his work, so she can see exactly how often this happens. And gets sucked into it every time, making it harder for her to ignore.

3. Refusal of a vacancy for moral reasons

I am in the throes of finding a job and therefore communicate quite widely. Several times I avoided conversations about why I wasn’t interested in a particular job to avoid causing offense or creating a negative interaction.

What is the proper way to politely decline these offers without much explanation as to why, while still maintaining a positive relationship?

For example, I have been offered a job in the Department of Corrections or to become a police officer, and I have many reasons why this job is not suitable for me. I was also introduced to people who work for a marketing agency that produces provocative political advertising. Even if I were on the same “side” with this agency, I still wouldn’t want the job. These examples were suggested by neighbors whom I see regularly and want to maintain friendly relations with.

Several options, depending on your mood:

• “Thanks, I’ll check on them.” (This doesn’t obligate you to do anything else with it, and if they do, you can say, “This job isn’t a good fit for me, but thanks for thinking about me.”)
• “This is not the path I’m interested in, but thank you!”
• “I don’t think this is the right option for me, but thank you.”
• “Interesting, I’m not sure if it’s for me, but I’ll think about it.”

Ideally, after any of these, you should quickly change the topic.

4. Can a referral “save” my application after I have been denied?

I was laid off about a year ago and have been looking for work in a tough market ever since. Whenever I see an opportunity that I think would be a good fit, I first apply through the company’s official portal and then reach out to everyone in my network who may be associated with that company/team. However, it can take some time to pull the connection levers: between reaching out to someone I may not have spoken to in years and asking in turn to connect me with someone in that company that they may , do not know very well.

I tried to use connections several times when I received an automated email rejecting a position. Can internal approval or referral received after ATS has already rejected my application “save” my application and put me back in dispute?

Potentially. It’s unlikely that your application will be retained unless you’re a strong candidate, but it’s more likely if you’re clearly very qualified and someone will look at the application with new eyes and realize that (for example, if HR is rejecting people, they shouldn’t not reject, because they don’t have a detailed understanding of what the hiring manager is looking for) or if one of the people in that chain of contacts has a lot of influence.

5. How to apply for a job (internally) if I’m not sure if it’s open at all

I work as an office clerk at a law firm and heard from one of the paralegals that they will be moving to another in-house position early next year. (They mentioned they were undergoing training and I asked what it was for, and then they told me they were getting the position because the current person was retiring.)

I’m not sure if the company is even going to hire for an assistant position, but I’d like to make myself known. I would like salary increases and hybrid options and I have an MLIS degree that I would like to put to good use.

The problem is that I don’t know if this assistant’s move is common knowledge except to the people in the department they are moving to. I was told (literally) quietly, so I felt a vibe that most people don’t know. And again, I’m not even sure if they’re even going to replace this assistant, or if I have a chance to do so. I haven’t been here that long either (less than a year), but when I had my three-month appointment a few months ago, my boss told me that I could let her know if I was interested in any positions at the firm. because she assumed that I didn’t want to work here forever as a clerk. And I know that several people have moved on to other jobs at this firm, so I at least know that internal transfers matter here.

But I need to know how to ask and who to ask. And I also wouldn’t want to have to go through a polite interview – so if they don’t think I have a chance, I want to know that right away, not just get interviewed because I work here. I’ve been burned in the past by polite interviews without knowing it was polite, and honestly, it hurt even more than not getting the position.

Go back to the assistant who told you they are moving and ask if they know if the firm plans to fill the position they are leaving because you would be interested in applying if they did. They probably know, but if not, ask them if you can ask their manager about it (you almost certainly will, since their manager probably knows they’re transferring, but you can ask to be sure).

And then you will speak with the manager for the position and say that you understand that Jane is transferring and that you would like to be considered as a replacement and ask what the next steps are. As part of this conversation, you can ask about the characteristics of the candidates they are looking for, as well as talk a little about their background and ask if it makes sense to throw your hat into the ring. But beyond that, you can’t prevent the possibility of a polite interview; There’s always a chance of this happening when you’re applying internally, and it’s better to find a way to live with it than to find a way to rule it out entirely.