Transgender and Pregnancy: A Journey of Love and Parenthood in Wellington

The new season of New Zealand documentary films kicks off with the unusual journey of a gay couple during pregnancy.

To casual acquaintances—and even to some of the guests at their wedding—Rava and Frankie Karetai Wood-Bodley were just another gay couple in a loving relationship. When they talked about their
Wanting to become parents, people assumed that they would look for a surrogate mother. But Rava is a bisexual man, and Frankie was born a girl and is now a trans man. They wanted Frankie to carry their child.

Trans and pregnantwhich kicks off this season of the TVNZ documentary New Zealand tracks their progress towards that goal (spoiler alert: they do have a baby), and the close focus on the pregnancy journey does mean the documentary relies heavily on Rava and Frankie to tell your own story. . They talked a lot during the four years covered by his narrative.

They readily admit that they live in a supportive “weird bubble” in Wellington, but the culture war raging outside is only tangentially mentioned, and there are no allusions to evangelical fanatics or opportunistic politicians, because that is not their story. This is the story of two men who desperately want to have a child. (Still, it might be funny to hear a politician argue that bearded, shaven-headed Frankie should be forced to use the women’s restroom.)

We meet their parents: Rava’s mom has a bad case and loves them both, and Frankie’s dad has advanced Parkinson’s disease and desperately wants to hang on long enough to become a grandfather. We learn about them as children: Rava was a feisty child who was immobilized for a year due to injuries received from being hit by a car. Frankie had been convinced his gender didn’t match his body since he was 4 or 5, but didn’t change until he left the family home to go to university – but little about their lives now. What are they doing? How can they afford to visit a fertility clinic or buy a house, even in rural Canterbury, to share with Rava’s mother?

It’s not exactly a secret: they both have experience in public sector management, mainly in health and disability, and now run their own consulting businesses. At the ATC, Frankie oversaw the “operational implementation” of the Births, Deaths, Marriages and Relationships Registration Act 2021, a magnet for moral panic. Rava has a long history of advocating for the rainbow, and they both advocated for marriage equality a decade ago. So they are not new to the front line – that’s just not what the story is about.

Director Ramon Te Wake spoke about this. Listener that while “keeping each other safe” was an integral part of the creators’ approach, “we also wanted to tell their story – about two people on the path to parenthood. What does it look like? What does it look like? We made that our north star and just kept checking and kept going.

“We were very aware that this idea would spark a lot of conversations about trans people and their bodies, so in these early stages we made sure we discussed all the issues and how we were going to address them.”

There is a choice. When Frankie decides to first reduce and then stop his three-month testosterone injections to improve his chances of conceiving, he worries about the possibility that the fat in his body will redistribute and he will “slowly, over time, take on a more feminine shape.” It happens, but it is captured quite subtly: in a series of shots of the couple walking hand in hand, away from the camera. Pregnancy, when it occurs, is as obvious as it is to anyone.

It’s something of a triumph that at a time when simply being trans means enduring a struggle, whether it’s bought into or not, Trans and Pregnant is overwhelmingly about love rather than hate. No one talks about genitals and no one scolds for language. By the time labor comes, which comes with as much pain, exhaustion, relief and ecstasy as any other, you will need a very strong heart not to be moved.

If there is a need to have a public conversation about a new understanding of gender, Te Whake and his subjects have done it a great service by shifting the focus from difference to the universal, making it more than just about being. trans, but what does it mean to be human.

DNZ trans and pregnantMonday, November 11, 19.30.

Broad Church

Jude Cullen, TVNZ Commissioner’s Awards Specialist, says the premise of this New Zealand documentary season is the same as the previous one: “We wanted each documentary to tell a contemporary New Zealand story, to connect with a broad and diverse range of New Zealand films. New Zealanders and be relevant to their lives, whether the subject is directly in their own life experience or in the lives of those around them.

“The order of the thread was decided after we reviewed all the stories. Trans and Pregnant was chosen to lead because it was a beautifully crafted, touching human story about a New Zealand couple who wanted to start a family. The pair were two men. It is thought provoking, emotionally moving and very powerful. A great way to start the DNZ season.”

This isn’t the only episode of the season whose story is on the sidelines or behind the headlines. 501st: The Inside Story follows “the efforts of long-deportees to welcome, educate and mentor recent arrivals in an attempt to curb the plane-to-prison pipeline” and Ram Raid Mums is a Papakura community initiative to put children on a “better path.” . ADHD: not only hyper was created by a largely neurodiverse production team and looks “beyond the negativity to highlight the positives of diverse thinkers.” Predict my future is a continuation Why me? series on findings from the Dunedin Longitudinal Study with a focus on aging. The darkest of names Monsters Revealedprovides an inside look at the work of anti-obscene material and child exploitation teams “as they work alongside an international task force to target online child abusers and rescue young victims.”

“Exploring social issues” is a key part of the series’ goal, Cullen says. “We wanted the topic to be challenging and to provoke conversation and debate.”