Kentucky Youth Advocates provides advice and resources to support children with incarcerated parents.

It’s time to recognize the profound impact that having a loved one behind bars can have on families, especially children.

A growing body of research identifies parental incarceration as an adverse childhood experience (ACE) that has significant negative impacts on children’s well-being. Research shows that children exposed to parental incarceration face greater behavioral, educational, and health disadvantages than those who are not exposed.

Given how challenging this can be for families, Kentucky Youth Advocates (KYA) has created a thoughtful guide for families coping with this situation, offering practical tips for supporting children and maintaining connections in healthy ways.

Below are 10 tips from a guide to supporting children with an incarcerated parent:

• Acknowledge and validate children’s feelings: It is important to let children know that whatever they are feeling—confused, angry, sad, or nervous—is normal.

• Help children decide whether to attend: Discuss with your child how he feels about visiting his parents and suggest alternative ways to stay in touch, such as writing letters or phone/video calls, if he feels uncomfortable with in-person visits.

• Prepare children for visits.: Talk to your child about what to expect during the visit, including safety precautions, staff supervision, and the emotional impact of meeting a parent in prison.

• Offer support after your visit: After the visit, listen to how your child is feeling, whether sad or angry, and remind him that all feelings are valid.

• Create a Conversation Starter: Help your child come up with topics to talk about with their incarcerated parent, such as favorite activities, friends, or school news.

• Keep in touch via emails or calls: If visiting is not possible, encourage children to write letters or draw pictures and explain how telephone calls work in prison, including the possibility of time limits.

• Set realistic expectations: Explain to your child that maintaining a relationship with a parent who is in prison may be difficult and it may take time to rebuild or strengthen the bond.

• Convince children that they are not to blame.: Emphasize to children that they are not responsible for their parents’ incarceration and offer them emotional support during the conversation.

• Connect with schools and counselors: Consider informing your child’s teachers or counselors about the situation so they can provide additional support if needed.

• Be patient and understanding: Recognize that incarceration affects the entire family and that your child may experience stress or behavioral changes as a result. Be patient and supportive as you help them cope.

Download the KYA Guide for Families with Incarcerated Loved Ones for additional resources and other helpful information for those affected by incarceration.

Kentucky Youth Advocates