Dear Abby! Even though we are divorced, I am still proud of my ex-husband.

Dear Abby: I have been divorced from my ex-husband Paul for 20 years. I never married again. The divorce was mostly my fault because I was unfaithful. We never tried to save our marriage. He started dating immediately and married again 18 months later. We remained friends because we have four children and now grandchildren. I get along with his wife too.

During the pandemic, I moved around the country with my grown child. Paul and his wife followed us. We live about an hour apart. As it turned out, three of our four children also moved to live near us. Over the past two years I have realized that I miss Paul and hope that we will be together again. (He doesn’t know this.) I have never disrespected his marriage or his current wife.

They have a unique relationship because they often spend time apart and travel to see their families without each other. I think they also sometimes relax separately. I know this is not necessarily an indicator of their love or commitment, but my gut tells me that this is not the marriage they want people to believe.

My intuition also tells me that he may be feeling the same way I am. I often think he wishes he could have done more to save our marriage. Should I tell him how I feel? I’m happy with my life, but I don’t want to regret not speaking up if there’s a chance we can reunite and be the family I know God intended us to be. Any advice? — Regrettably in Alabama

DEAR REGRETERS: My goodness, you are definitely having a self-serving conversation with God, who you should have talked to before you committed adultery and ruined your marriage. While this may seem unusual to you, many couples visit their families separately, and some even take short vacations if their spouses are not interested.

Do yourself a favor and look elsewhere for romance. Your ex and his wife would really appreciate it if you did. Please think about this before you embarrass yourself.

View all sections “Dear Abby”

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Copyright 2024 Andrews, McMeel Syndicate.