Dear Abby: My friend was angry that I let him borrow something.

Dear Abby: When I was a teenager, my immigrant grandparents brought hand-knitted sweaters from Ireland, the country in which they were born, for everyone in our family. I value mine and take care of it, although I have already outgrown it.

Years later, a close friend asked to borrow the sweater for a neighbor’s kid who needed “something Irish” for a school showcase event. The children were asked to bring items related to Ireland. When I refused to borrow my family sweater, my friend told me that she had already promised her neighbor that she could borrow it.

She got very angry, accused me of being selfish and didn’t speak to me for a couple of months.

We live in the same city, so I sometimes run into her. She is cordial but distant and clearly still upset with me. Keep in mind that I barely know my friend’s neighbor – the one who wanted to borrow my sweater for her child. But even if I did, I wouldn’t lend this family heirloom to anyone. Was I wrong? — SENTIMENTAL IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SENTIMENTAL: You were neither selfish nor wrong! Your “friend” has gone beyond the bounds. She should never have promised anyone the use of property that did not belong to her. And for her to now freeze you for refusing to give it to her and risk having something so valuable to you get damaged is very nerve-wracking.

My advice is to follow her example. Be cordial but distant and don’t let her make you the bad guy for saying no.