How to provide meaningful support to grieving employees

Ahead of National Grief Awareness Week, Hospice UK Compassionate Employer Program Manager Faith Holloway looks at the steps employers can take to truly help grieving employees.

This year, National Grief Awareness Week runs from December 2 to 8, and now is the perfect time for employers to do more than just acknowledge grief—they can take meaningful steps to support grieving team members year-round.

Unresolved grief doesn’t just affect individuals; it spreads throughout the workplace, affecting productivity, increasing absenteeism and leading to increased turnover. Research from Hospice UK shows that 77% of employees aged 18 to 34 would consider leaving their job if they felt unsupported following a loss.

Despite the universal nature of grief, many employees feel pressure to return to work before they are ready, often without adequate support. And with only 17% of managers feeling very confident supporting grieving colleagues, there is a clear gap in our approach.

This week I encourage employers to focus on three key areas to bridge the gap and strengthen their approach to grief support year-round:

Policy

Many organizations fail to adhere to their bereavement leave policies, and this is a missed opportunity to show what your brand and values ​​stand for.

Only one third of companies have a bereavement policy, so even having one will make you stand out. Putting your best foot forward in your policy can really make a difference.

Here are some outstanding practices from our compassionate employers:

• bereavement leave for those caring for or saying goodbye to a loved one who is dying.
  offering all employees a minimum of 10 days of paid leave to ensure everyone is treated fairly. This avoids the “manager lottery,” where some employees get more vacation time just because their manager is more compassionate.
• employees can take time off when it suits them, with the option to extend it for a year or use it in hours instead of full days. This flexibility is especially helpful for initial grief management processing or for thinking about anniversaries and special dates in the future.
• additional leave for certain situations, such as foreign travel, religious observances, or for employees who are having a more difficult time coping with their grief.
• a day of paid leave for pet grief.
• Use general terms such as “significant other” or “loved one” instead of outdated family boundaries. This is a much more inclusive approach that allows employees to avoid making excuses for the importance of their relationships.
• a clear list of workplace adjustments that gives employees the opportunity to request the support they need upon return.
• involving colleagues passionate about bereavement support in the final review to further improve the policy to achieve the best impact.

Next steps Compare your leave policies to best practices and remove any outdated or unnecessary restrictions.

Know what to say (and what to avoid)

Without proper guidance, bereavement communication can easily go awry.

Managers and teammates often don’t know what to say to a grieving colleague. They may not know how to register or find themselves staring blankly at a condolence card, unsure of what to write.

I have heard of several cases where personal data is shared without the grieving person’s consent, often due to a lack of communication or failure to contact the grieving person in advance, which is easily avoidable and can unfortunately undermine trust in the team.

Many people ask the question: “What should I say to someone who has lost a loved one?” The important thing to remember here is that the goal is not to encourage them or give them advice, but to acknowledge their grief. The first thing bereaved people need from their colleagues is reassurance and reassurance that their feelings are normal.

Instead of using clichés or kind words, try simple phrases like “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” “it’s not fair,” or “it’s okay to feel angry or numb.” These words validate their emotions and show that they are not alone.

Next steps Organizations should train managers on how to respond appropriately to grief and ensure clear and respectful communication among all managers. This includes asking bereaved people what they feel comfortable sharing before they go on leave and how they would like to be addressed by colleagues when they return to work.

Compassionate reintegration into work

It is a common misconception that once an employee returns, they automatically return to normal life. Job demands and deadlines can quickly pile up, leaving a grieving employee quickly feeling overwhelmed. Without a well-thought-out return to work plan, any initial progress made in supporting grieving employees could be undone.

Here are some other tips to help ensure a smoother transition:

• Wednesday’s return to work may make adjustment easier, allowing for a more gradual return to the workplace.
• Greet them with a cup of coffee outside or arrange a virtual chat before meetings to ease any concerns.
• keep the first day light for them and leave space on your calendar in case they need you.
• Open up a dialogue about what workplace changes might help them get back on track, and give examples of what you can offer, such as temporary remote work or more frequent breaks.
• Make sure they have access to a private, quiet place when they need a break or to answer calls.
• Before they return, openly discuss any potential problems or awkwardness with teammates, provide examples of what to say, and clearly outline how the colleague wants to be treated.
• Understand that grief can manifest in unpredictable ways, so patience and flexibility are key.
• Regularly use phrases like “you’re doing great” or “it’s okay that you’re not performing at your best.” These small reassurances can help ease feelings of guilt and stress.

Next steps Organizations should review their current return to work guidance for employees and managers. If they do not have a guide, they should create a guide that outlines best practices to ensure adequate support, recognizing that returning to work is often just the beginning of a longer grief journey.

By improving support in these three key areas, employers can demonstrate a genuine commitment to supporting employees during National Grief Awareness Week.

It’s not just about raising awareness temporarily; it’s about taking meaningful actions to help grieving employees feel valued and cared for.

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