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In Defense of the (Slightly Tacky) Children’s Holiday Gift Registry

Posted on by L. Dreeye
In Defense of the (Slightly Tacky) Children’s Holiday Gift Registry

During the holidays, I love the smorgasbord of twinkling lights, culinary delights, and a revival of Mariah Carey’s classic Christmas song that graces my headphones all December. But as a parent, there is one thing I don’t love about the holidays: all the gifts my child receives, which often seem excessive and wasteful.

Don’t get me wrong—I love that our friends and family cherish my daughter enough to shower her with gifts, and I consider myself blessed that we can reciprocate. But it’s hard for me to watch some toys gather dust because my daughter is simply not interested in them, especially considering the fact that the donors kindly parted with their hard-earned money for them. So three years ago I started creating a holiday gift registry for my daughter.

And it changed the rules of the game.

What is a holiday gift registry?

I used to think it was a little tactless for parents to hand out gift wish lists to their children, suspecting it to be a hint of presumption and privilege. But in a shocking twist worthy of a holiday movie, my perspective changed. After countless years of trying to encourage gift givers to skip gifts and donate instead, or to secretly bring home the extra stuffed animals and donated clothing items that my daughter outgrew before New Year’s brunch, I finally cracked the code. Enter the holiday gift registry, also known as the suggested gift list.

Like a wedding or baby shower registry, a holiday gift registry is simply a list of items that a potential gift recipient would love to receive. And in this case, the recipient is my 9-year-old daughter.

You can create a holiday registry with just a few clicks on your keyboard. Many popular e-commerce sites offer this service (I prefer Target and Amazon).

When making a list, I actively involve my daughter in the process, allowing her to add interesting items that she can come up with (within reason). When I finish registering online, I receive a URL that I can share with anyone who asks. It’s a win-win: my daughter gets the gifts she’s been craving without the gift givers having to guess what might light up her world.

While she is free to choose which items to include on the list, I “approve” everything before it is finalized, quickly vetoing anything that involves slime or glitter. I also include practical items that I know will be useful. For example, since she has outgrown her sleeping bag this year, adding a larger size will ensure she is ready for her next big sleepover adventure. Given her love of swimming, quality goggles would certainly be welcome. And her obsession with Olivia Rodrigo? Well, anything that looks like Olivia is likely to spark a mini dance party in our living room. By creating a registry, even her long-lost great-aunt—a little at odds with her tastes but eager to join in on the holiday festivities—can easily select the perfect gift.

Now, when someone asks what they can get my daughter for the holidays, I no longer sheepishly mutter “nothing,” secretly acknowledging that they will buy her something anyway. Instead, I can confidently respond with, “Oh, a gift is optional—unless you want points, then maybe a donation to whatever charity she loves.” If they persist, I casually mention, “But hey, if you’re really intent on ruining it, I have this handy little list of registries,” followed by a link to the registry.

Bonus? Most registries offer a nifty feature that indicates when an item has been caught, cleverly dodging duplicate gifts. And since 9-year-olds can change their minds in a heartbeat, if my daughter decides one of her coveted gifts has lost its luster, we can return it since gift receipts can be easily obtained when the item is purchased in-store. registry list. This little feature saves everyone the hassle of asking, “Did you save the receipt?”

While I understand that some people may think gift registries for children are in poor taste, I won’t let the practice go by the wayside anytime soon. And of course, when I first started sharing the link to our registry, I expected judgment or passive comments implying entitlement. But to my pleasant surprise, over the years I have not received a single negative response or even a slight eye roll every time I suggested sharing a link to my daughter’s list. In fact, people often expressed gratitude for making shopping much easier. Many of my fellow moms have also adopted this practice after seeing how successful it has been for my family.

Overall, having a holiday gift registry has saved my house from being cluttered with gifts that aren’t right for my daughter, has helped her avoid acting excited about unwanted gifts, and has freed gift givers from the burden of guesswork – and possibly wasted money. This may not be everyone’s cup of tea (or hot cocoa), but it has definitely worked wonders for our family.