Juts talks about dealing with ‘imposter syndrome’ as a sober musician (exclusive)

Even rock stars lack confidence sometimes—just ask Utah.

The Canadian singer-songwriter (born Jordan Lutz) has had a career in music, writing for the likes of Demi Lovato and most recently headlining his first sold-out concert in Los Angeles.

But as the 33-year-old discovered, this “inner dialogue” can be relentless, and Yut in particular has had to learn to deal with self-doubt without resorting to old vices.

“Obviously I wanted to do a headlining show. I posted on Instagram like, “If I did this, would anyone come?” And I kept saying, “Oh, I don’t know if I would have come, I could even… I don’t know if even half the room would have been filled if I had done that, “because I have impostor syndrome, anxiety and all that.” ,” he exclusively told PEOPLE. “(Those things) definitely got in my way, not enough to stop me completely, but they slowed me down.”

Jutes was born and raised in Ottawa, Canada, on a ranch full of exotic animals. He originally wanted to be a basketball player, and although he still plays for fun, he admits that he didn’t develop the music bug until after high school.

He is currently working on his debut album.

“Basketball got me into hip-hop and it wasn’t until early in college that I started doing it as a joke, sending joke rap songs to my friend, and then one thing led to another. it’s too late to get into music,” he says, adding that his father was a drummer in a rock band, so he’s always been in the industry.

“I wasn’t afraid to do anything. I would go on stage anywhere and think I would steal the show even if I was terrible, and I had this blind faith that I’m very grateful for because it got me through it.” I was made fun of. It helped me get through a lot of things,” he says.

After moving to Los Angeles, the Sony singer, who was engaged to Lovato, realized the breadth of talent around him and began to worry that he wasn’t measuring up.

“I wasn’t a singer growing up and so I had to learn to sing by just doing it over the years and I’ve gotten a lot better, but I’m still not confident in my voice and singing live. I always feel like, ‘Oh, I’m going to be harsh and everyone is going to know,'” he explains. “I was on stage at my sold-out show and I was like, ‘I wonder if everyone here is like, ‘Oh, this guy sucks live.'”

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In July 2022, Youts celebrated 100 days of sobriety with a post on X. He’s now two-and-a-half years old, and while he says he “feels great,” his sobriety continues to impact how he deals with his anxieties.

“It’s an internal dialogue. I’m sober now and so I can’t silence that voice with the things I used to silence the voice, but I’m learning how to deal with it the right way,” he says. “At first, just making the move to announce a headlining show without an opening act, I thought, ‘Let’s just see what I can do on my own,’ and it sold out in three weeks. I thought, “Oh, I need to stop listening to that voice in my head more often.”