How to fix a divided planet and a divided population

Bill de la Cruz

As a mediator, I have contributed to the resolution of various conflicts. In the past, people were more willing to acknowledge the impact of their behavior and might say, “I’m really sorry,” or “I didn’t mean to treat you that way.” As our world has become more divided, people become stuck in being right, live in fear of what to say, and are forced to apologize.

From geopolitical struggles between countries to rising tensions within local communities, this state of conflict is not just about clashing armies or political ideologies. It’s something deeper: a widespread disconnect between people. This disconnection manifests itself as an inability to make or accept an apology and acknowledge the harm caused. We find ourselves in a world where lies and inhumane behavior are becoming the norm, which leads to a split in society.

At the heart of this growing global conflict is a lack of genuine human connection. Simply saying “I’m so sorry” or “I didn’t mean to hurt you” can often relieve tension, but people find themselves unable to express these feelings. The rise of social media and tribalist thinking has driven many into echo chambers where opposing viewpoints are viewed with suspicion and “others” are dehumanized. When people fail to admit their wrongdoings, conflict becomes entrenched, undermining our ability to communicate and connect.

This disconnect is evident in the United States political system, which is a breeding ground for false narratives, outright lies, and a complete lack of accountability. Leaders across the political spectrum have adopted divisive rhetoric, appealing to emotions such as fear and resentment. Politicians promote misinformation or half-truths, often turning complex issues into simple narratives that pit one group against another. Admitting mistakes or wanting to listen to other points of view becomes a sign of weakness.

Lies and misleading statements dehumanize those who disagree, casting them as enemies rather than members of the community. Political leaders often refuse to take responsibility for their actions, creating a culture in which wrongdoing is excused, rationalized, or ignored altogether. Disagreements in our political discourse have been reduced to everyday interactions, making admissions of guilt or apologies increasingly rare. People are doubling down on their positions, contributing to the creation of an atmosphere of hostility and dehumanization in society.

Failure to take responsibility for harm, whether on a personal, national or international scale, has dire consequences. Disconnection creates an environment in which people feel alienated and prone to perpetuate cycles of anger and bitterness.

At the global level, the consequences of this disconnect are more pronounced. Without a sense of shared humanity, countries at war—like people in conflict—refuse to acknowledge wrongdoing, preferring to justify aggression and violence. Lack of accountability leads to endless cycles of retaliation that perpetuate suffering on a massive scale.

Steps must be taken to develop relationships at the individual and community levels. They aim to create relational practices that change the way we interact.

• The simplest step we can take is to say “I’m so sorry” and take responsibility for our actions. Recognizing the impact of our behavior and language when we hurt others opens the door to healing and reconciliation. In a world where being “right” is valued over kindness, an apology can be a revolutionary act.

• Conflict will always exist, but how we deal with it can make a difference. Instead of avoiding difficult conversations, we need to approach them with an open mind and a willingness to learn and communicate. Engaging with opposing viewpoints as opportunities for growth promotes empathy and understanding.

• The political system thrives on false narratives and inhumane behavior, and we can combat them by pursuing the truth and sharing accurate information. Removing simplistic views and seeking to understand complex issues allows us to resist the polarizing forces that seek to divide us.

• Empathy is a powerful antidote to disconnection. By actively working to understand and share feelings, we begin to overcome the differences that divide us. Practicing empathy means recognizing the humanity in everyone, even those with whom we disagree.

• Creating inclusive communities is important at home, in the workplace and in society at large. Creating spaces of belonging where people feel seen, heard and valued will restore relatedness and reduce conflict.

What choices do you make to reduce conflict?

Bill de la Cruz lives in Erie.