“She is my world and my heart”

“When we first met, she just looked at me and my husband with such attention, and then she broke out into a smile, and that was it… we all looked at each other and said, ‘Yes, this is our family,’” recalls a beaming Rachel. .

We sit in her living room, surrounded by books and toys, while two-year-old Winnie plays happily with the social worker in the next room.

Rachel, 41, and her husband Lewis, who is a year older, married in 2019 and, like many couples, were hoping to start a family.

But when they encountered fertility problems, the couple decided to consider adoption instead of IVF.

“It was always on my radar, my mom was a social worker in foster care and adoption,” Rachel explains.

“We just thought there were kids out there who needed a loving, stable family and that’s what we could provide for them, so why not go that route,” she says.

But adoption rates in Oxfordshire, Berkshire and Swindon have fallen by 28% over the past three years.

The shortage means some children, including those with additional needs, siblings and black and minority ethnic children, are waiting longer to be adopted.

Adopt Thames Valley hopes more people will consider giving a child a loving home.

Rachel says the adoption process required about four months of background checks before they were assigned a social worker, who met with them once a week for several months to talk about everything from upbringing and family history to parenting styles.

Rachel has dual heritage: her mum is West African and her dad is white British, and her husband Lewis is white.

“We really wanted to adopt a black or mixed child to fit our identity, but we also know from all the reading and research that these kids wait longer in the system, so we really wanted to embrace that,” she says.

Rachel, who works as a healthcare worker, and Lewis, who works in insurance, were initially sent details of children in foster care by a social worker to see if they wanted to continue.

But another way to find a child is through the Link Maker website, which displays profiles of children looking to adopt across the UK.

That’s how they found Vinny.

“I think she was the first child I looked at and I had an instant connection with her profile.

“It wasn’t anything special, just a little line that said, ‘She’s a fighter,’ and it just stuck with me,” Rachel says.

She says Winnie’s adoption process went smoothly and she received a lot of support from social workers and Winnie’s adoptive family.

It took about 18 months from registering as adoptive parents until Winnie returned home last July.

She describes her daughter, who turns three in December, as a “ball of energy” who loves to sing, dance and do gymnastics.

“It was exciting, scary, upsetting at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way, she is my world and my heart.”

The cost of living crisis may be one reason for the decline in adoption rates nationally.

Teresa Rogers, director of adoption services at Oxfordshire County Council, says she can see the impact of this because some children are taking longer to be adopted.

And across the Berkshire county line, Archie is one of 30 children waiting to be adopted.

He turns three in January and was placed with foster carers Nancy and Martin when he was two months old.

Nancy says he is a typical little boy who loves to run and climb, and describes him as smart and determined.

Archie has developmental delays, which means it takes him a little longer to achieve milestones like walking and talking.

And Nancy says she’d love for Archie to settle into his forever home: “I think he’s someone who has time and patience because it takes a little more to learn and do things.” time.”

She added: “He’s a pleasure to deal with, very happy, very content and very loving.”

Oxfordshire County Council and its regional adoption agency, Adopt Thames Valley, are trying to find homes for around 50-60 children a year, including both babies and older children.

Ms Rogers says the goal is to place children within six months, but admits it could take up to a year and a half.

She tells me that anyone from any background can learn about adoption and that specialized training is available.

“Foster children, like all children, need a loving family and a home in which they can grow, develop and thrive.

“But they also have different experiences before they were adopted… they have different life experiences and it takes time for them to form attachments to their new family, so they need careful parenting.”

“They need a lot of patience and time to settle into a new family and develop new relationships,” she adds.