8 Things You Should Let People Do for You When Your Life Is Falling Apart

When times get tough, we all know that we need to lean on the people who care about us. After all, we offer our help and support to the people we love. But for some reason it can be incredibly difficult in reality. let people help us. While we may be afraid of becoming a burden to others or showing our vulnerability, allowing others to provide support not only helps us cope, but also helps them feel useful and valued.

Whether you’re going through a health issue or just a mentally difficult time in your life, having a support group like this can make all the difference—a lesson Eisenberg says she learned the hard way. Now she wants others to learn from her mistake.

Here are 8 things you should let people do for you when your life is falling apart.

During a conversation on Andrea Miller’s Getting Open podcast, comedian Ophira Eisenberg opened up about her breast cancer journey and her hesitation about letting people know about her health struggles and providing her follow-up support.

1. Invite them to come and do simple tasks.

“Every time someone says, ‘What can I do?’ Give them a job,” Eisenberg insisted. “Say something like, ‘You can come over next week…’ Bring some soup. “Can you come over next week and do the laundry?”

It doesn’t really have to be anything as extravagant as deep cleaning the entire house or cooking a five-course meal, sometimes people just want to know that others are willing to pick up the slack when they can’t.

2. Bring flowers.

Happy and joyful young woman in white arranging white flowers at home in the kitchen Arthur Bargan | Shutterstock

We often overlook the simple but thoughtful gesture of buying someone a bouquet of flowers. Not only do they brighten up the room (and the person’s mood), but they’re also such a small gesture that proves how much you’re thinking about that person who could use a little light in their life.

“I’m a big believer in literally saying, ‘You know what? I would like flowers.” Just say something, anything… anything that can make you feel better,” Eisenberg noted.

3. Coupon or gift card for a facial.

Eisenberg suggests you ask for something that will bring you a little joy and say something like, “You know what, if you want to get a couple of people together and give me a nice facial, I mean, if that’s your thing, “I’m just throwing ideas out right now,” Eisenberg said. “I watched someone else make flowers and I took advantage of it. And someone said to me, “What can I do for you right now?” And that’s what she said.

4. Distraction or spending time with benefit.

Allowing friends and family to come and spend time with you, whether it’s playing board games, watching a movie, or just sitting and talking, can really help you take your mind off the divisive parts of your life. Even just sitting in comfortable silence can provide a reprieve from having to live in your head.

At these times, you may be afraid to show vulnerability and feel the urge to act tough or entertain guests, but try to let them just keep you company. It may take practice to accept this level of openness, but it will be worth it.

5. Organize your space and get rid of clutter.

young woman folding blankets and blankets into wicker baskets Kostikova Natalya | Shutterstock

Several studies have proven that there is a correlation between disorganization, clutter, and mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, and stress. A cluttered environment leads to feelings of depression and helplessness, which is not a good feeling if you are also facing difficulties in your daily life.

Allowing people to come and clean up your space can provide some relief and stability. This could be something as simple as loved ones cleaning up rotting clean clothes. What a special chair in the corner of the room or even taking out an overflowing kitchen trash.

6. Running errands for you.

Whether it’s picking up a prescription, grocery shopping, sending mail, or picking up a package from the post office, errands can be such a task if you’re not prepared for it. Allowing the people in your life to perform these acts of service for you can really alleviate some of these stressors and give you time to really focus on yourself.

It can also help your friends and family. At the end of the day, they would like to feel useful and you would want to try to piece your life together in a way that works for you.

7. Help with child/pet care.

Caring for children and trying to catch your breath from life’s obstacles, be it health or emotional, can be a difficult task. Even allowing trusted loved ones to pick your kids up from school, take them to after-school activities, or bring them dinner so you don’t have to cook for your kids can make all the difference.

Even if you don’t have children and just pets, allow the people in your life to take your dog for a walk, come and feed the cat, or take your pet to the groomer or veterinarian. Just these small actions can make your life a lot easier and take some things off your plate so you have more time to focus on your well-being.

8. Listen to yourself in difficult times.

The picture shows two smiling young women talking while drinking coffee while sitting on a sofa in the living room at home. Josep Suria | Shutterstock

Sometimes it can feel like you are alone in your struggle and what you need from those around you is for them to listen to you, even if they are complaining, ranting, venting, crying or wanting to laugh. It is very valuable to have someone around who genuinely wants to listen without judgment.

Support can be such a valuable lifeline, and you’ll be surprised how many people in your life are willing to come to your aid during such difficult times without hesitating or complaining. Even small acts of kindness can add up and remind you that you don’t have to face life’s toughest moments alone, and there’s nothing wrong with leaning on others for comfort.

Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news and lifestyle writer whose work explores contemporary issues and concerns.