Dear Annie: My long-distance lover doesn’t want to meet in person.

Dear Annie: I met a woman named Alice on a dating site. We’ve been emailing each other for 27 months. We’ve never met; she lives in Seattle and I live outside of Atlanta. We are both 70 years old.

I don’t quite understand our relationship. We seem to get along very well and she has my phone number but won’t give me hers. I asked about it a couple of times, but she asked me not to pressure her.

She told me she had a terrible divorce. I don’t know if she’s afraid to commit. I don’t really insist on this. I really like her, and to be honest, there have been times when I thought I should break it off, but I like her so much that I keep coming back to her.

I was thinking about asking her if I could fly there to meet, but I’m a little nervous about asking. I think I should just see how the relationship works out (she tells me she’s planning to retire) and let the chips fall where they may. I really don’t want to lose her.

You’ll probably ask me to let her go, but to be honest, I have a really hard time finding someone I like when I meet them on a dating site. No one can compare to her. I just wish I knew what to do. — Stuck

Dear Stack: After 27 months of not meeting in person, I don’t blame you for not knowing what to do. Her reluctance to share her phone number may be a sign that she is not ready for a relationship. The only way to know for sure is to ask to meet her in person. You deserve a real and reciprocal relationship.

Dear Annie: I live in New York City and have had a solid group of friends over the last decade. We are all young gay professionals in our 20s and 30s.

A few years ago, an acquaintance joined our circle. He was initially a welcome addition and we welcomed him with open arms. However, over time I noticed some disturbing behavior.

He has developed a habit of taking control of social situations, often ignoring others’ stories or making negative comments about people he barely knows. It feels like he’s trying to dominate the conversation and overshadow a long-standing friendship. Just recently I learned that he organizes vacations and social events without including me, often with people I introduced him to.

When I told him about it last summer, he brushed it off as a “misunderstanding.” He expressed regret and assured me that he loved me and my family, but his actions did not seem to match his words. I’m not sure if I want to continue building a friendship with him, but I also don’t know how to handle this situation within my close-knit group of friends. What should I do? — Left in New York

Dear Left Behind: Normally I would recommend direct and honest communication with this gentleman, share your feelings and try to work things out. However, it looks like you already tried and got rejected. Another conversation will likely fall on deaf ears.

Focus on other friends in your group where your efforts will be appreciated and reciprocated. Don’t make more of this than it really is – there’s no need for hostility or forcing a relationship between the two of you – but trust your gut. It exists for a reason.

“How do I forgive my cheating partner?” out now! The second Annie Lane anthology, featuring beloved columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available in paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].