Families will need time to recover from election struggle: expert

Have you voted on how to be political with your loved ones this holiday season?

As the country is divided in the current election, so are many couples and families. And the intensity of the debate is likely to continue beyond November 5th.

After all, Americans today can’t stand a partner who doesn’t check the same name as them on the ballot.

According to a study recently published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology, only about 23 percent of couples belong to different political parties, and less than 8 percent consist of one Democrat and one Republican.

However, while most couples seem to be united in their political beliefs, that doesn’t mean their family and friends are just as likely to share that opinion.

That’s why brides and grooms with wedding dates around the upcoming election have set some rules—no alcohol, for example—or managed their expectations about how and what guests will celebrate at their ceremonies.

But anxiety caused by political disagreements with loved ones probably goes beyond the issue at hand.

“In relationships, dissatisfaction with election results may even reflect or intensify divisions between couples and families,” Rita Watson, a relationship expert, told Psychology Today.

This is especially timely as we gather—or avoid gatherings—with each generation of our loved ones during the holiday season.

About 22% of travelers expect politics to be a factor in family feuds during the holidays this year, according to a recent survey by travel market research firm Future Partners.

Those who are most nervous are those who have just recently left the children’s table.

About 38% of Gen Z and 29% of millennial travelers worry about table talk, compared to just 11% of baby boomers.

Some have even gone so far as to cancel holiday family gatherings.

Chirag Panchal, founder of luxury travel agency Ensuite Collection, said he has a client who typically brings family from all over the country to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner.

“But this year is different,” he told NBC News.

Some difficult political conversations have prompted the children to express concern about getting everyone together, but they don’t.

“They have given up going anywhere as a family,” Panchal said.

To help people get through this stressful time with their loved ones, Watson shared some tips for saving relationships after heated political debates.

1. Identify the problem or conflict.
2. Assess the pros and cons of your feelings about the conflict.
3. Set aside your differences and identify what you have in common.
4. Reconsider the reasons why you are grateful to your partner, friends or family.
5. Focus on love and gratitude.
6. Think about how you could accept the outcome of a situation, even an election, if it is not what you wanted.
7. Ask yourself if there is a trade-off; that is, a way to please yourself and others without compromising your values.