Asking Eric: Answer to Previous Reader’s Questions

Dear Eric: I really like your newspaper advice column. Thank you. I am writing to comment on common language that people, including you, use when someone feels offended by something someone else says or does. As a psychotherapist, I believe that the belief that someone has “hurt your feelings” is codependent. I believe it is more accurate and less critical to answer: “I was offended by what you said/did.” Part of the therapeutic world is learning to communicate using “I” statements rather than “you” statements. “I” statements are generally received better than “you” statements and tend to make the recipient feel less criticized and therefore less defensive in response.

– I Statements

Dear me! Statements: Thank you very much for pointing this out. This is so important, but sometimes I forget and refer to the words “you”. I really appreciate this reminder.